in a world of foggy sights

i dont get my family. i dont get my life.
i was finally returning to my normal state of being completely happy with my life or at least satisfied when in a simple step up a stair, i feel like i have no direction. everything is jumbled and uncertain. i had an amazing visit with my dad on monday. we kept a conversation going from when he picked me up to the next morning when he drove me to my mothers. it was incredible. we didnt talk about personal stuff obvi, but we shared our similarities and interests and it was awesome! i saw my mom and we also had a really good time! talked about issues that didnt make us start yelling at eachother, but we're really good to discuss. saw the canada day fire works.. it was good. got back to toronto this morning happy, excited for school and work.. than i hear one little sentence that i'm not even positive was said.. although i have a witness so to speak and i'm lost. who knew that "i broke up with my girlfriend" could destroy me. i talked about how i was excited to find love that i was ready to experience the hurt because that was just a small piece of the puzzle.. but my heart was crushed... it was doomed from the beginning which seems to be my lot in life, he had a girlfriend, and he chose her. but now he's single.. and just as i was putting him in the friend zone... i'm yanked back into the uncertainty, the pain of remembering the most horrible phone call of my life.. and i'm afraid. i'm terrified! i don't want to experience that again.. i could fall so quickly back into his arms.. but i'm soo scared.
my mom and i shyly went over comments we've been told in our lives.. girls with no dads are sluts.. single parent children will never make it in life...
i'm in a career that i LOVE and i'm only 18! i may not be the purest of girls, but i have dignity, i know my boundaries and standards.
am i failing because of fear? no, i've conquered so much in my life... can i ever just be tired of having to conquer? ha some how i dont think thats how life works...
so wat do you do when faced with wat could turn out to be love? ha you run...