saskatoon

what a day. im so tired. emotionally, physically. but spiritually i want to keep growing.
today was a mess. a constant feeling that im going to be late, starting with the first flight. being the last one to board is always interesting. then, getting to saskatoon and meeting a stranger, then have to find a place to sleep because my ride isnt until tomorrow. sleeping at a strangers house.. hearing stories about my work that im not too excited to start enduring.
i love meeting new people, but today, i just wanted to be in the arms of my boyfriend. held by the familiar scent and the strong arms of the person i love, and who loves me. i realized without even getting to the resort, that this summer is going to be a challenge. im a cook. cooks drink. we party, work, party work. thats our lives. and as much as i loved it, i wish it were different. i dont want a new sex partner every night. i dont want to get drunk every night. i dont want to deny my love for christ. to put it out there as something smaller than it is.
but im afraid thats what it is going to become. i'll role back into my old ways. im terrified. i have one fellow christian with me but it seems that she's been livin it up rough too. i hope that we can keep eachother in check. i need prayer. tons. i know that God sent me here to challenge my strength. my self control. i know i will make it through this summer. but how strong i come out of it.. thats another thing.
i just need alot of prayer.

yours truely