so today. wow.. emotional. i've been noticing that its just getting harder and harder to put on the smiley face around my mother. so many blow ups, too many fights.. i feel like its just a marathon to the next conflict. i love my mother. because she is my mother.. but as an adult.. there is almost nothing i would go to her for. this morning after hearing about the "talk" she and my sister had i did not want to see her. then this afternoon, we had our own little blow up. it drives me crazy how she conviently forgets all the times we have fun together, and is convinced that im always rude, snobish, and selfish.. those are words that cut me so deep and she throws them at me constantly. i dont like it they hurt me, because i know its not true, and she's just looking for cheap shots.. but it does hurt. im really excited to leave.. for this vacation to be over.
my boyfriend.. he's amazing. we're planning a little vacation when i get back from sask, and i love that he's planning it out. its still amazing to me that he loves me so much, to want to spend all that time with me. and i never realized how low my mother can make me feel..
he's planning a little surprise for me too.. haha within the couple of texts he sent me explaining to me what he has planned i was smiling like goofy and even danced in the starbucks to the temptations...
crazy that a few texts can brighten my day.