two weeks of vacation

i've been asked why i havent blogged while on this trip. well.. i just havent had much to say.. which is a lie. so much has gone on i just have not had time to sit, think. breath. i have been travelling for almost a month straight now, and as much as i love it, im so exhausted. im sitting hear listening to Gladiator play in my head phones, knowing the scenes off by heart in my minds eye. im so tired, but cannot fall asleep.
so much emotion on my travels. falling in love.. with people in peru, a man at home and the ocean. its been fun talking with my sister, being silly girlies, talking about our boys. planning futures and blushing at every cute thing they say to us.
but its been tiring, listening to my mother, relive the old days. i can only take so much of her reminicing before i just want to tell her to shut it. there are some things that should just be left in the past.
emotions.. i used to hate them. why get all emotional over things? to make the experience more real? no way i would say.. i have gone through life trying to be emotionless.. trying not to get hurt anymore. my heart is so broken, scared and yet, in four days, my tiny heart has been given to a man that contradicts everything i have ever known. men who cheat, abuse and use you until they are satisfied. then cast you aside like an old doll.
my best friend knows how i am, how if any man did something cheesy or nice to me that was the end of the relationship.. or i never called them relationships... whatever they were. anyways, im shocked at how i am handling this relationship. i love the cheesy things. the cute poems and the most beautiful words every spoken to me. and i know they are true. its not just to get laid, or make the moment cute.. its a feeling that just can't be faked. i still cant believe i've found him.

i have been gone more days travelling since i've dated him than i have actually been with him.. but it doesnt matter.. it sucks, but i know that at the end of the summer he will be there.. waiting for me at the airport.. i cant wait.